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Monday, December 20, 2004 I had a doctor’s appointment at 10:00am, and I hoped to hear that I was progressing! I’d been having contractions off and on for a while, some stronger than others. When my doctor checked me, she said there was no change. I wasn’t dilating at all and this was probably one of those babies who’d go two weeks late. She suggested I go to the hospital to try Cervidil – an insert that helps dilate and efface the cervix. In a lot of cases, labor begins with in a few hours. Since I was already having contractions, I decided to do it. We left the doctor’s office and went straight to the hospital. Luckily we had our bags in the car already just in case!!!
I was admitted, hooked up to an IV and the monitors. Already I was having contractions back to back, and my doctor said the exam she did probably stirred things up a bit. At 12:30 pm, I was given the Cervadil. With in 2 hours my contractions got stronger and longer. It was uncomfortable, but I wouldn’t say they hurt. By that night, the contractions were coming back to back with no break. They still weren’t very strong, but it was enough for me to ask for pain medicine. I was given Stadol which knocked me right out. Things are a little fuzzy after this point. With in a few hours, the Stadol had worn off and I remember getting a second dose. It didn’t last very long at all, maybe an hour. About 3:30 am, my contractions were constant and painful so my nurse called my doctor. I was also shaking uncontrollably. They removed the Cervidil to slow down the contractions and checked me to find that after all that I was only about 1 cm dilated. I
Tuesday, December 21, 2004 My doctor came by that morning and checked me again. I was about 1-1/2 or barely 2 cm dilated. She said it was enough to break my water, and I could be given Pitocin to bring on labor and have the baby that day. I asked what would happen if I didn’t, and she said I could linger like that for a while with nothing happening. After giving it some thought, I decided to do it.
I was transferred to a bigger labor and delivery room. I decided to take a quick shower since I didn’t know how long it would be before having another one. About 10:30 am my epidural was started. I was shaking so much from all the contractions and was worried about being still when the stuck the needle in. The epidural went very easy. All I felt was a quick bee sting, some coolness and a shock going through my legs. My nurse did the needle pricks on my legs to be sure it was working. Next my nurse inserted the urinary catheter. I had a horrible experience with one in the ER at the beginning of my pregnancy, so I dreaded getting one. With the epidural, I didn’t think it would be noticeable. Wrong! The second she inserted it, I felt like I was on fire! I could feel it inside. They seem to think I’m allergic to the benidine used to clean you off with. I started to cry because it hurt so much and I wasn’t supposed to feel anything. The anesthesiologist was called back to give my epidural a boost since the standard dose didn’t seem to be strong enough for me. That worked and after a while I didn’t feel the catheter anymore. My doctor came in and broke my water (big gush!), put an internal monitor on the baby’s head, and I was hooked up to the pitocin drip about 12:30.
The rest of the afternoon is a bit fuzzy and went by so fast, but basically all we did was sit around and wait and talk. I tried to rest. Clint, my parents, and Clint’s cousin Opal were there with me all afternoon. I wasn’t feeling any pain and we watched the contractions come right after each other on the monitor. At one point my doctor came to check me and I was 5 cm, and she stretched me to 6. Next thing I knew I was 8 cm, and the pitocin was turned off since I was progressing so fast. I started to feel pressure that came and went with contractions. Literally minutes later she said I was 10 cm with just a tiny lip of my cervix left. She was pretty sure I could push past it, so it was TIME! It was about 4:30 pm. An oxygen mask was put on me, and I was getting really nervous. My whole body was shaking so much and just couldn’t stop it. I kept telling Clint how scared I was and I started crying and shaking even more. The nurses were prepping for the baby and everyone who couldn’t be in the delivery room was asked to leave. My legs were held up and I was told to breathe in, breathe out, then hold my breath and push for a count of 10. We did this a few times and Clint later told me he could actually see the monitor wire inching outwards with each push. The head was right there but I just couldn’t push hard enough to get it out. I started feeling some tingling in my feet and horrible pelvic pressure. I started to wonder if my epidural had been shut off as it got worse. Finally the pressure got to a point where I couldn’t stand it anymore and I was sobbing. My contractions were less than a minute apart, and the pressure and urge to push is something I will never be able to describe. No doubt it was the pitocin that made them so strong and unbearable. Apparently the epidural boost given to me earlier was wearing off. The syringe of meds was right there, but we had to wait until the anesthesiologist could come to inject it. It was the most miserable time of my entire labor. Finally he got there and gave me the medicine. My legs were put in stirrups and the handle bars were raised. I had already been pushing for 3 hours, so my doctor got the vacuum to help get the baby out. A blanket was placed on my belly and I thought wow this is really IT!!! With each contraction, I grabbed the bars and pushed as HARD as I could!! On the third try they were able to get the suction cup on her head, and I pushed and pushed and pushed until I felt her head pop out! Then I felt a huge release as the rest of her slid right out. She started screaming. They placed her on my belly and started wiping her off. Clint cut the cord (I missed it) and they moved her to be cleaned off. I laid there for quite a while being stitched up. I was bleeding quite a bit and my doctor wasn’t sure where it was coming from. It eventually stopped, but I lost quite a bit of blood. I had to stay in recovery for an hour, and I attempted to breastfeed Valerie but it just wasn’t working. I was so exhausted and weak that I really didn’t have the energy to keep trying. Finally around 11:30 I was put in a regular room and was able to eat. I was starving.. My doc had a dose of Demerol and phenergran ready for me to help me sleep. About 2 am Valerie was brought to me and I attempted to breastfeed again with out luck. I was so out of it from the meds, and just felt so awful and didn’t have the strength to keep trying, so I caved and said give her formula. Valerie stayed with us in the room the entire time after that.
Wednesday, December 22, 2004 The next day I felt horrible. After my IV and catheter were removed, I wanted to shower. I was still so weak and shaky that Clint had to help me get out of bed. About 5 minutes into my shower, I started feeling very light headed and almost blacked out. Clint had to help me dry off and get me back to bed. My stitches (found out it was a 2nd degree tear) hurt so much even with the ice packs and Tylenol 4 they were giving me. I could hardly walk and sitting was impossible. I wanted to hold and feed Valerie so bad, but I couldn’t stand up or sit down to do it. I didn’t have the strength. I felt so bad about that. Clint took care of her the entire day because I couldn’t do anything. I was so tired and so emotional that everything was making me cry. Plus all of the people in and out were really bothering me. Every 5 minutes someone was coming by to talk to us or ask us something. Some of it was really stupid – like wanting to know if our room had been cleaned. WTF? I was exhausted, hurting, and I couldn’t relax and rest with all the commotion. Finally late in the afternoon I felt a little better and was able to get up and walk around for a few minutes. The hospital required a 24 hour stay after giving birth, so I wasn’t discharged until 7:30 that night. I was so glad to come home with our little Valerie!!
And that is the story of our sweet little Valerie’s arrival! Labor was rough and it took a lot out of me. If my epidural hadn’t worn off, things would have been much better. It’s going to be a while before I fully recover. I would do it all over again though because we have the sweetest baby girl!! Clint and I have spent hours just watching her sleep. I just want to cry every time I hold her! I think we are both still in shock that she is finally here. It’s such an amazing feeling to look at this beautiful baby and know she’s ours. This is what life is about.
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